Crazy Travel Guy, 31, Dies in Absentia

Language butchery by Mr Rich on  30.1.06 @ 19:47

So every now and again, you have these surreal moments in life where
you read your own obituary. My younger brother John sent me this the
other day...

...The 419 scam is evolving!

Rich

--- john williams <bmudkcuf@censored.com> wrote:

http://mail.yahoo.com From: "ASSOCIATE CHAMBERS OTHUMBA DAN, LL.C."
<info@othumbalawfirm.net>
Subject: I PERSONALLY CONTACTED YOU WILLIAMS .
Date: Thu, 4 Jan 2001 07:23:39 -0800

OTHUMBA DAN Esq.
OTHUMBA DAN & ASSOCIATES
OTHUMBA DAN CHAMBERS
111 OCEAN VIEW CRESCENT, 22ND FLOOR,
IKOYI,VICTORIA ISLAND,
LAGOS-NIGERIA.
TEL: +234-802-961-1123

Dear Williams,

This letter is not intended to cause any embarrassment in whatever
form, rather it is intended to contact your esteemed self, following
the knowledge of your high repute and trustworthiness. Firstly, I must
solicit your confidentiality. I know that a proposal of this magnitude
will make anyone apprehensive and worried, but I am assuring you that
it's made in good faith and will be of mutual benefit.

I am Barrister OTHUMBA DAN (SAN) personal attorney to Mr. Richard
Williams a national of your country, who used to work with brinnelli
Development Company here in Nigeria. Here-in-after, shall be referred
to me as my client. On the 5th of November 2000, My client Mr. Richard
Williams and his family were involved in a fatal auto crash along
Ibadan/ Lagos express way in which people were burnt to death,
unfortunately, my client and his family lost their lives. I found the
report later gave this detail about the incident on
archives.cnn.com/2000/WORLD/africa/11/06/crash.nigeria.death.reut/

My purpose of contacting you is to assist in repatriating the money and
property left behind by my client prior to his death before they get
confiscated or declared unserviceable by the security company where
this huge deposits were lodged particularly, security company where the
client had an account valued at about Fourteen Million, seven Hundred
thousand United States Dollars only ($14.7million USD). The security
company had issued me a notice to provide the next of
kin or have the account confiscated .Since I have been unsuccessful in
locating the elatives for over 5 years now I seek your consent to
present you as the next of kin of the deceased.

Since you have the same last name/surname so that the proceeds of this
account valued at ($14.7million USD) dollars can be paid to you and
Note that this is legal, and 100% risk free. I know there might be
other persons out there with the same last name as my late client but I
am contacting you personally, if you will be willing to assist me make
this claim. I shall assemble all the necessary legal documents that
will be required to back up this claim. I guarantee that this will be
executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any
breach of the law.

Please get in touch with me for better confidentiality and send to me
your telephone and fax numbers to enable us discuss further about this
transaction.

No: +234-802-961-1123 to enable us discuss further.

Best regards,

Othumba Dan Esq.

Attorney at law

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
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http://mail.yahoo.com


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New Year, New Travels, New Perspectives

Language butchery by Mr Rich on  14.1.06 @ 17:31

Hello from the road everyone. Saludos de San Juan, Nuevo Brunswick, Canadia. Es mucho frio aqui...eh?

Maybe it would be more appropriate to use French, being as I am in Canada.

With this trip, I have realized that I have a special power: I can bring down governments. Where ever I go lately, there seems to be an election going on. I just missed the New Zealand elections when I was there in November. In Chile, I recovered from jet lag by watching the returns on TV. Nothing can make you fall asleep faster than watching the play-by-play of who the new president of a foriegn counrty will be. Now I'm in Canada, and Paul Martin looks as if he's moving out of the Prime Minister's residence.

Note to all Americans: Paul Martin is the leader of the country immediately to your North. Canada doesn't have a president, as Queen Elizabeth of the UK is the head of state. They get a prime minister to throw rocks at (he's the head of government).

Now here is where things get interesting. Canada doesn't have two overly dominant political parties like The States and the UK do (yes, I know that there is more to British politics than Labour and The Tories). In addition, Canada has a province that keeps grumbling about secession. Therefore, you see some interesting political alliances when you have an election.

In Canada, you have the usual larger parties that profess to represent the right and left of centre. Here they just call them the Conservatives and the Liberals. Paul Martin is a Liberal. Then you have the really left of centre party, the NDP or New Democratic Party. The Greens get in there somewhere left of center, and you have the usual right wingers as well. Finally, there is the Bloc Quebecois. They want Quebec to be a separate pseudo country, meaning they don't want to pay taxes to Ottawa anymore, but are perfectly happy letting Ottawa take their share of the national debt.

These are the people who were most surprised when the US had its election in 2004. It went something like this: "what zu mean? Stu-peed Amer-ee-cahns want zu join Can-ah-da? Zeh moost have maird for ze brains!"

There have been two referendums on the Quebec issue, and both have failed. However, it wasn't exactly a landslide for Canadian unity either time, and there are a growing number of people who are thinking that Montreal can just go fuck itself.

Paul Martin appears to be in for it come 23 January, and much of the reason has to do with these Quebec referendums. The Liberals under Jean Critien (forgive the spelling - and he was the Prime Minister before Paul Martin) really weren't keen on Quebec becoming a new country. So, they spent a fat chunk of taxpayers funds on sponsoring the "NO" campaign, which ended up in reality being a bunch of bribes and kickbacks to people in their own party. Paul Martin was up to his eyeballs in it as well.

It was best put by a TV show called Royal Canadian Air Farce (think SNL or SCTV). They were making fun of Paul Martin in effigy in regards to the money that Canada sent to the Asian tsunami relief. The skit was a news anchor reporting from Thailand. He interviewed Paul Martin and asked him why Canada seemed so cheap when compared to the rest of the world. The effigy of Paul Martin replied that, "..we sent ten billion dollars. Do you know how much that is?!?" The reporter quipped, "Yes. About half of what you spent in the sponsorship scandal."

The primary person who is expected to replace Paul Martin is the Conservative, Steven Harper. The national newspaper, The Globe and Mail ran a front page story about him the other day: apparently he is a distant cousin of the star of the popular TV show, The Trailer Park Boys.

The Trailer Park Boys is a show that would make people in Arkansas say, "Damn!" Telferner, Texas, you aint got shit on these guys. Jed Clampet, eat your heart out. The scary thing is, its reality TV.

Steven Harper's campaigning on a platform of the usual bullshit: lower taxes, deregulation, bring God back into schools, and overturning gay marriage - even if he has to write it into the Canadian equivalent of a national constitution. He's also partnered with Bloc Quebecois - you know, the Free Quebec! people. If politics makes strange bedfellows, this is a Mongolian Cluster Fuck.

So in all honesty, I really don't care who wins. Hell, most Americans don't even know who the Prime Minister of Canada is. But it does make me feel better to see other countries mired up in this stuff. Misery loves company...
______________________
Best Regards,

Rich Williams, ¡en transito!


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Sample Posting

Language butchery by Mr Rich on  4.1.06 @ 19:52

This is a sample posting done from the blog itself.

If you joined up as a contributor, here is what you need to do to post:

1. Click on the "BlogThis!" button at the very top of the screen. A posting screen will open up.
2. Edit the title and link. Be creative.
3. Put in your post
4. Click the "Publish Post" Button at the bottom of the screen.
5. Have a nice day.

Laters all!

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