The Laws of Plumbing

Language butchery by Mr Rich on  24.11.09 @ 10:52

Lately I've been noticing that the laws of physics often apply to life. For example:


I. (Intertia)

Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it.


The relationship between an object's mass m, its acceleration a, and the applied force F is F = ma. Acceleration and force are vectors (as indicated by their symbols being displayed in slant bold font); in this law the direction of the force vector is the same as the direction of the acceleration vector.

III. (Action / Re-action)

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Rephrased in terms of interpersonal behavior, the laws read:

I. (Intertia)

Work can be ignored until someone else does it.


The severity of the black eye is directly proportional to the size of the fist and strength of the arm that hits the face.

III. (Action / Re-action)

Sending me a nasty email will result in a nasty phone call.

Similarly, I was given some sage advice by my elder brother. He once told me that in order to be a plumber, you needed only to know the Laws of Plumbing:

1. Hot water is on the left; cold water is on the right.

2. Shit rolls down hill.

3. Don't bite your fingernails.

4. Payday is Friday.

5. The boss is a sonofabitch.

6. Don't piss off the boss's nephew.

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