The Laws of Plumbing
Language butchery by Mr Rich on 24.11.09 @ 10:52
Lately I've been noticing that the laws of physics often apply to life. For example:
Newton:
Rephrased in terms of interpersonal behavior, the laws read:
Similarly, I was given some sage advice by my elder brother. He once told me that in order to be a plumber, you needed only to know the Laws of Plumbing:
Newton:
I. (Intertia)
Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it.
II. F=MA
The relationship between an object's mass m, its acceleration a, and the applied force F is F = ma. Acceleration and force are vectors (as indicated by their symbols being displayed in slant bold font); in this law the direction of the force vector is the same as the direction of the acceleration vector.
III. (Action / Re-action)
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Rephrased in terms of interpersonal behavior, the laws read:
I. (Intertia)
Work can be ignored until someone else does it.
II. F=MA
The severity of the black eye is directly proportional to the size of the fist and strength of the arm that hits the face.
III. (Action / Re-action)
Sending me a nasty email will result in a nasty phone call.
Similarly, I was given some sage advice by my elder brother. He once told me that in order to be a plumber, you needed only to know the Laws of Plumbing:
1. Hot water is on the left; cold water is on the right.
2. Shit rolls down hill.
3. Don't bite your fingernails.
4. Payday is Friday.
5. The boss is a sonofabitch.
6. Don't piss off the boss's nephew.
